And then he was gay!
by VEGETA-RIAN01
Summary: Sasuke is an FBI agent whose all work and no play according to Naruto. He tries to throw a surprise party to make Sasuke unwind, but things go horribly wrong and Sasuke's apartment is wrecked instead. Feeling responsible Naruto gets him a place to rent, the only problem is the pink-haired landlady wants a female room mate. So what's Naruto's solution? Pretend your gay. LEMONS
1. Chapter 1

Author's disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. This story is for entertainment purposes and not monetary gain.

**AN: Sasuke is a teeny-tiny-bit less dark than he supposed to be, but that's because this is an alternative universe story.**

**Note: thoughts are in italic. * this symbol indicates translation of Japanese words to English.**

* * *

Chapter 1

Sasuke's POV:

"I like your suit." Her smile was dangerous, lips juicy red as she nips my chin ever so lightly; running her manicured nails down my throat. I laugh, penetrating her hot gaze with mine. "Thanks…too bad I can't say the same about that sly personality of yours."

She steps back, detaching herself from my lap and those dangerous lips curl maliciously. Her eyes narrow as she crosses her arms and turns her head to address the bulky bodyguard in the room; talking to him in Russian. "Distsiplina etogo cheloveka," her thick accent resonates through the dimly lit study and I smirk, _discipline this person huh? Bring it on woman_. Pain shoots through my lower abdomen and I cough, groaning as my stomach churns. Her bodyguard pulls the knuckle duster off his hand and takes his position back at the door. I try to ignore the pain throbbing in my stomach and twist my bound hands, testing to see if I could free them from the chair it was attached to. The woman takes a deep breath, her large bosoms rising heavily in the thin silk dress she wears, before stepping towards me again; purposely giving me an eyeful of her cleavage. "I'm not going to ask again agent Sasuke. We know you never came alone to our ball, tell me where your partner is. Is he hiding somewhere in the mansion? If he is surely you don't think he won't be found. Look how easily we were able to find you sneaking around this very study."

I scoff at the remembrance. My mission had been simple; I was to infiltrate this mansion as a guest to a party with that idiot Naruto, moreover, locate and apprehend the Russian Mafia Godfather Povarsky. Intel had indicated that he was hosting a party, using an alias and fake corporation name to celebrate the fake corporation's business success. The party itself was a front; it was meant to draw attention away from Povarsky and his partners as they held a secret meeting with criminal lords from across the globe to buy and sell things from black diamonds to drugs. Unfortunately we didn't know exactly which room the meeting was being held in, and we decided to split up and search. Once I had entered this study someone came from behind me and knocked me unconscious. When I woke up this aristocratic annoying bitch was in front of me. They had bound me to this stupid chair, destroyed my earpiece microphone, and took my gun away.

Her eyes narrow at my silence and she pinches the bridge of her nose irritably.

"Dayte mne nemnogo kofe!" she barks to one of her guards. He speaks into his sleeve, which most probably has a microphone in it and orders the person on the other side to fetch the bitch some coffee. "I'm tired of playing games agent Sasuke, either you tell us what we want to know or I'll have to let my guard beat it out of you!"

Before I can answer the door opens and a man in kitchen clothes comes in, asking in Russian if he could leave her coffee on the table. Her eyes don't leave mine and she doesn't turn around to acknowledge the coffee boy; instead she waves her hand irritably, "Da! da!" indicating for the man to hurry up and get out. She then continues to try and probe information out of me, first by smacking me across the face and then by gripping her hand in my hair to pull my face up towards hers. "Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way-"

"I prefer the hard way," I smirk. Her nostrils flare in anger and she snaps her fingers in the air again commanding her lapdog to punch me again. There is no response and I can't help but laugh. Her eyebrows rise at my expression and she turns around to face her guard, except there is none, I know this because I saw him get knocked unconscious and placed silently on the floor. I roll my eyes, "What took you so long dobe(*deadlast)?" the woman pales and staggers back when she sees the blonde-haired coffee boy still in the room; holding a gun out.

"Yeah, yeah. Keep your panties on teme(*bastard), it took me forever to find the place she was keeping you in, if I didn't overhear the kitchen staff talking about the captive she had in the study I would have never found you in this stupid mansion. She cut off your damn communications; I thought it would take me forever."

He knocks the bitch out unconscious as she tries to scream for help, and he unties me from the chair. I retrieve my equipment from the table and shake my head, "Off all the things you do to rescue me, you disguise yourself as a coffee boy."

He snarls at me, "Hey, I save your ass didn't I?"

"Yeah whatev-"

**BANG! **

The door blasts open and a guard draws out his mini Ak47. Both Naruto and I dive across the room, taking cover behind the furniture. The cascade of bullets hits hard against the furniture and the loud pop of bullets being released echoes around. I block my ears; peering through the debris of the man's carnage; which flies around. The carnage pauses as the man hurries to change the magazine, but I'm too fast for him. I zap out from hiding and pop two bullets into the man's chest. Naruto whistles, scratching the back of his head as he looks about the damage, "So much for this mission being covert."

I roll my eyes and lead the way out the door, only to be bulldozed to the ground by another damn bodyguard.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yells, ready to assist me, but is interrupted by a bullet that whizzes past his ear. He takes cover in the corner and starts fencing with the guy across the corridor as they fire bullets at each other; whilst I roll about on the floor, trying to break out of the guards' chokehold. I rip his hands from my throat and sock him in the face, breaking his nose, and then give a good kick to his ribs, fracturing them. At the same time my opponent falls, so does Naruto's as he pops the guy in the head.

"Well that wasn't too bad," Naruto huffs out, but I beg to differ. "I don't think they agree with you," I say pointing at the end of the corridor where three guys with suits rounded the corner, frozen for a split second at the sight of us.

"Crap!" Naruto yells as we take off, running as fast as we can, dodging bullets along the way. The problem was we were running towards a dead end, nothing but big glass panes that showed the view of the ball room from two stories high. But now is not the time for second thoughts and the dobe knows that. We catapult through the glass, and as we fall Naruto screams his ass off like a little girl.

* * *

"Watch out!" I yell to Naruto as we lay on our backs in pain in the ballroom. Bullets rain down upon us as we roll under a long dining table for cover. The guests are screaming and running around in panic, this gave us an opportunity to escape. With the table obscuring the view of the gunmen above; we quickly rolled out and blended with the crowd. As we ran out the door a fist came flying to my face. I dodge it with a millisecond to spare, grabbing his arm in a hold and spin him to the floor; judo style. However, it doesn't stop there, another guy takes a swing at me and I duck to the left before upper cutting him. The man stubbles into a chair, growling, before lifting the object and swinging it at me. I dodge and disarm him, grabbing the back of his head as I pull it down to knee him in the face. I then drop him to the ground with a punch to the jaw, breaking it. Another guy, yet again, comes from the side with a 9mm pistol, but I'm too fast for him; slipping my fingers across the gun and taking it out of his hands and then drop kicking him. I land on my back as he flies through the window, pieces of glass fall on my face and cut my cheek. I groan, trying to stand, my body is battered, bloodied, and bruised. As I twist to my hands and knees I see Naruto struggling to get out of the hold his opponent had him in. the man had his arms around the dobe's neck, choking him, and his legs around his torso from behind. The dobe was turning red in the face as he tried to swing the guy off of him; he finally backed up against a wall, hitting his back against it hard to get the leech off. Once the man's arms slackened Naruto reached up and pull the man's head down, spinning the guy forward into a table; breaking it in half.

"Ah ah!" Naruto pants holding his knees, "Remind me again why we crashed this party? I mean that bastard knows we are coming, he and his gang are most probably gone by now?"

I smirked wiping some blood from my busted lip, "Dumbasses like Povarsky are too overconfident of their resources. He isn't worried about us; in fact he probably thinks we're dead by now. The damn bastard is probably still in the meeting and thanks to that woman running her mouth off while she was interrogating me, I now know which room the meeting is in. This deal that he is making is worth millions, he isn't leaving until it's done. We got 30 maybe 20 minutes left, got any plans in that empty head of yours?"

"Empty!? Why you bastard! I saved your life with this so called empty head of mines!"

I lift my gun at him and pull the trigger, he ducks in time just like I knew he would and I end up shooting the guy behind Naruto who had drawn his own gun to shoot us. His lifeless body drops to the floor and the dobe gaps at me like a fish. "Who's saving whose ass I wonder?" I smirk.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…hey maybe we could use these. Blind them and assassinate everyone in that room except for Povarsky?" He bends down and pulls a few flash-bang grenades from the dead man's jacket.

"So you do have a brain in that head of yours."

"Ha ha… so funny."

* * *

Someone slaps my dislocated shoulder lightly, and I hiss in pain.

"Ah gomen na(*sorry) Sasuke. I didn't realise you had injured your shoulder," Kakashi says, his eye crinkles in the corner giving me the impression that he was smiling beneath that mask of his.

"Hn," I reply, nudging Povarsky forward roughly, handing him over to my fellow colleagues', Shikamaru and Neji, for interrogation.

"You're late sensei. Ba-chan(*granny) is having a cow looking for you," Naruto giggles like a child as he nurses his broken arm.

"Tsunade is looking for me is she? Where is she?" came Kakashi's reply.

"We met her at the entrance."

"Mmm, well you two should head to the infirmary and get yourselves patched up…you looked like hammered shit." Kakashi laughs before going to go look for Tsunade.

"Well teme I'm going home to have my lovely wife heal me. Good luck getting medical care from Karin," he winks before he too walks away. That damn dobe knows full well I hate that redhead wench; in fact I hated every woman who was clingy, annoying, loud, stupid, and desperate. The dobe was lucky he had a wife like Hinata to look after and care for him, he had a place to call home filled with people who love him. I, on the other hand, have a dark empty abyss to call home. No one to call family ever since…ever since my brother murdered them all. I feel a sudden lump rise in my throat and a sting at the back of my eyes. It's been 7 years now since my loved ones died and almost 3 years since my bastard of a brother was assassinated by me. I pinch the bridge of my nose and shake the memories from my head. _Stop remembering Sasuke, just forget about it all._

* * *

**Sakura's POV:**

I come out from the surgery room and inform the elderly woman that her husband was going to be just fine. She bows down and thanks me with tears in her eyes. I smile politely, clearing my throat as I scurry away to the locker room to change out of my doctor's clothes into my casual wear. Once in the locker room I look around to see if anyone else is there and when I see there isn't I burst out laughing. "Oh…oh god…I can't keep it in anymore…hahahahaha…Oh god." I literally laugh until I needed to freaking pee! Even after I had changed and left the room, I still couldn't suppress my giggles. I spot my best friend Ino in the cafeteria and take a seat next to her, still giggling like a maniac. She raises an eyebrow at my oddness, "God what drugs did you take, this afternoon?"

"You'd laugh too if I told you what happened."

"And what is that?"

"An elderly man ate too much Brussels sprouts and his stomach started to hurt. The wife thought he might have a tapeworm or something and rushed him to the hospital. When we took him into the surgery room he started farting no stop…haha oh gosh…turns out it was just the bad case of gas."

"You have a weird sense of humour billboard brow."

"Oh shut up pig. Anyway I finally bought my dream apartment!" I squeal in glee.

"What! Oh that's awesome girl, is it that one in uptown Konoha with the three bedrooms, two bathrooms, kitchen, lounge, laundry room, study room, and the patio with a pool?"

"Yes! That's the one. Ah I've been waiting so long to get this place and now I finally own it. However, I'll have to get a tenant to rent half the place so that I can pay the mortgage off."I sigh sadly.

"Why isn't Gara helping his precious baby sister?" Ino cooed

I scowl at the mention of my older brother's name, "I told you Ino I want to be independent without my brother's influence, just because he is going to be president of the Kazekage enterprise doesn't mean I want to ask him for money."

"I know, I'm just surprised that he is letting you out of his sight that's all. I still can't believe he allowed you to buy the apartment."

"Trust me it took lots of convincing. Besides I promised him I'll only rent to females, not males. And that I'd pay the mortgage off in three months max and ask the tenant to move out. So that in itself made him open to the idea."

"uh oh…"Ino suddenly said, "Ex-boyfriend at 12 o clock."

My hearts starts pounding and my palms suddenly feel sweaty. "Sakura? Haruno Sakura is that you?" _of course it's me you bastard and you know it!_ I turn around slowly and push my anger all the way deep, deep, deeeep, down. "Oh hi Kiba, what are you doing here?" He smiles that 100watt smile that still sends butterflies a flutter in my stomach_. Shanaro! Bad Sakura bad! We got over this jerk the moment we found him in bed with another woman._ "I'm actually bringing my girlfriend in. Akamaru has been moody for a while and he kind of bit her for no reason." I feel sad about this, not because he brought that whore he cheated on me with to the hospital, but because Akamaru is a sweetheart, he would never snap at anyone without explanation. So that bitch…uh I mean witch…oh dear did I just say witch? I mean lady must have interfered with him somehow. "Oh I'm sorry to hear that," I say as politely as I can without knocking his head from his shoulders. He shrugs and then scratches the back of his head nervously, "hey Sakura how come you don't reply to my messages on Facebook anymore? I've been trying to contact you…don't tell me you are going to keep me at the edge waiting for a reply? "

I purse my lips, trying my best not to scream the unladylike words that are coursing through my head at the moment and force myself to smile, "oh I've been so busy these past days I'm sorry. You don't have to wait at the edge anymore I'll poke you."

Ino muffles a giggle in her hand, obviously getting the joke, but Kiba just smiles like a retard and says cool before walking off.

"Ino," I hiss through clenched teeth, "Give me something to hit."

* * *

Well that's the first chapter. Yes Sakura is Gaara's sister and the kazekage enterprise is a wealthy business in Konoha I just invented to get the story going. Please read and review, I'd love to hear your thoughts about the story so far. Many thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. This story is for entertainment purposes and not monetary gain.

**AN: Sasuke is a teeny-tiny-bit less dark than he supposed to be, but that's because this is an alternative universe story.**

**Note: thoughts are in italic. (*) this symbol indicates translation of Japanese words to English. *Dobe means dead last and teme means bastard.**

I'd like to thank the following people for reviewing, it really helped and the input is much apprieciated ^^: Crazymel 2008, sasukerr14, dino, mun3litKnight, Raikiri80, and a lot of others who reviewed as guests. Thank you once again and hope to read your reviews again.

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Chapter 2

Sakura's POV:

God why me? Was what I thought standing there in my grey tracksuit pants, slippers, and oversized Hello Kitty t-shirt. Why did I think that coming to the convenience-store in my pajamas at 8:00 o' clock at night was a good idea?

Confused?

Let me take you back 45 minutes ago; when I didn't feel like going outside to lie on the road and wait for a truck to run me over. I was in the middle of making supper when I realised that I had run out of bread at home...what's a grilled cheese sandwich without bread? So I head down to the convenience-store, thinking that I might as well buy milk too seeing as though I am already here. Stomach growling like hell, I try to make it as quick as possible. _I'm so hungry; okay Sakura speed and precision! _

I grab the bread and make my way to the dairy section...hang on...was that...holly freaking shit! My jaw drops and I pin my back against the cereal shelf. I couldn't breathe, my hands became tingly and my heart was doing a gymnastics routine in my chest. I started to move very slowly and quietly towards the voices I heard. When I got as close as I could without being seen, I peered around the edge of the shelf. Shit! It was him; Kiba. I crane a bit further, trying to see who he was talking to. _Oh god no!_ It's bitch-face, A.K.A Saffron; the women I found on all fours as Kiba bang her from behind, when he cheated on me. I close my eyes and try desperately to hear what they are saying. They were laughing, like love's young dream. It was enough to make me want to throw up right there in front of the All-Bran; _I have to get out of here!_ I couldn't and did not want to meet them_. My god I don't think I'd be able to restrain my violent inner from punching that woman's face in!_ I peeped over the cereal to where the door was. YES! It was still in the same place...hang on... if I make a break for it the heavily tattooed woman behind the counter might think I'm shoplifting, impale me on a stick, and parade me around town. I check the door again; a quick leapfrog over the stack of toilet paper, past the bread, and out the door; never to be seen again. _This was it, now or never!_

"Sakura?"

Shit! Not knowing what to do I panicked and began to swipe random items of the shelves like some lunatic shopper on black Friday.

"Sakura?" he repeated. _What should I do? Keep ignoring him?_ His voice was closer now and my heart pounded violently as I turned to face him. We stood there in silence for a while, before the quiet was broken by a high-pitched whine.

"Kiba darling, would you go ask and see if this shop sells shoes?"

_Shoes? At a convenience-store?_ Clearly this woman had her head screwed on wrong when she was born. "Like oh my gawd!" she exclaimed when she saw me, I growled at that fake smile plastered across her thick layered make-up filled face. "Sakura darling, it's been a while." I grind my teeth, clamping my fist tight as so not to "accidently" punch that head right of her shoulders.

"Erm Saff could you go get some band-aids, for me, from the third aisle please." Kiba muttered. She looked from him to me and back again, "But honey my arm is still sore, I can't carry the box."

My eyes glue to the bandage wrapped around her arm, the arm that Akamaru bit.

"Just see if they have any, I'll be there in a bit."

"Kay," she tweeted, sashaying down the aisle with her black stilettos. I become very aware of my attire at that moment seeing how dressed up she is; I suddenly start wishing I could just become invisible.

"Uh so hi again?" I roll my eyes, seriously was that all he was going to say? At that moment bitch-face decided to come back, her heels were clipping back to where we were standing. "Is she like going to blow a fuse and like pull my gorgeous hair out again?"

"Ssh, Saff just please keep quiet!" Kiba hushed.

"You said it yourself that she's most probably like still obsessed with you."

_BASTARD!_

"What? No...I didn't...I said...Oh ssh would you be quiet she's still in the shop!" he barked.

"I will not pussy-foot around her just because she has anger management issues. She lost, and she needs to get over it!"

LOST? That **was** my boyfriend not a bloody game of tennis! I almost snarl out at them as I stomp away to the counter. _Breathe Sakura, calm down_. "Sakura wait!" Kiba yells. "Just leave it!" I yell back, plunking down all the items I managed to gather during my fit of shopper's mania. There laid out in front of me, except for my bread, in all their embarrassing glory was a packet of pads, a aerosol can of odour destroyer, an odd brand of toothpaste for problem bad breath, and mounds of junk food. I reach for my wallet as the lady totted down what I owed.

"There's no price sticker on this toothpaste," she roared, "go over and check the price on another."

_**You. Have. To. Be. Kidding. Me.**_

By this time Bitch-face had snaked her way from behind Kiba and was surveying the scene. My cheeks flashed bright crimson. _Please god, kill me now!_ "Erm yeah, just a sec." I stagger back to the display and stand there muttering, "Price stickers, price stickers," like a mad woman. I could feel their eyes on me. I spot one and bring it over, hoping that the torture would end, but it doesn't as bitch-face smiles as innocently as she knows how and asks me if I'm going to eat all that junk food.

"Why do you need to know?" I snort, trying as best I could to save dignity.

"No reason...it's just that I've seen pictures of your mother...keep eating."

_**MOTHER OF FREAKING GOD I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! SHANORO!**_

* * *

Sasuke's POV:

"Fuck!" I snarl, gritting my teeth as I try to breathe calmly through my nose. The pain that had shot through my shoulder started to dissipate, leaving me with only an uncomfortable feeling.

"There all done Sasuke-kun, I popped your shoulder back in."

I narrow my eyes dangerously and emit the most hateful aura I could, "No shit Karin, I know you popped it in because I fucking felt it." The redhead pouts in a way that makes her resemble a fish and I inwardly shiver in disgust. I lie on the infirmary bed and throw my arm over my face, "Leave."

It was not a request, it was an order, but being as dumb as she is Karin doesn't get the hint and instead starts to trail her fingers up and down my arm. "Do you feel better now Sasuke-kun?" she coos.

"Hn," I snort trying to ignore her irritating presence, but her fingers trail higher up my hand to my wrist; as her fingers encircle it she tries to tug my hand away from my face. I on the other hand am losing patience as I take hold of her fingers in a vice grip. She yelps in pain and tries to tug her hand free from my excruciatingly painful hold. I let go of her finally and she stumbles backwards falling to the ground. I did warn her; in fact I'm losing my patience when it comes to her. I have no remorse, no affection and no emotion as I hiss out in rage, "I said get out!"

She doesn't even tremble, instead she gets up and winks at me, "You're not in a good mood right now; we will carry on later then." I can only shake my head sadly and sigh as she skips out the room. I calm down and lie back on the bed. I really dislike women like Karin: Nagy, bitchy, whiney, annoying, and most of all as daft as a dodo. If anything all women I meet tick that criteria, it's pathetic. One look their way and they all turn into harpies. Where has the chase gone? Seriously; if one woman could actually not turn into a mindless zombie when they take one glimpse at me and instead prove to be a bit of a challenge, an intellectual girl that could give me a bit of mental and emotional stimulation, I might actually like her. Sadly I haven't come across any such candidates and hence I tend to keep a distance from ALL women and focus myself in something more productive; like work. I don't care if the dobe calls me a workaholic emotionless prick, emotions are a mystery to me and they have been ripped straight out of my heart ever since...ever since my brother killed my family when I was 10. The only emotions that I knew and that consumed me was that of hatred and revenge, even after I had killed Itachi and achieved my goal, I was too far gone; drowning in anger. It was Naruto who gave me a bit of hope to restart and create a life from scratch. It took a lot of convincing and a few broken bones for me to finally cave in to Naruto's stubbornness, nevertheless, I'm still a workaholic emotions prick and that will NEVER change. Emotions, I had learnt the hard way, was nothing but a fucking weakness. _Run ,run, run little brother. _I grip my ears and grit my teeth, god I hate that voice. It was like the sound of a thousand nails scrapping on a blackboard ripped through my mind every time I heard it. The room suddenly feels smaller and I can't breathe. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I grab my tattered top and pull it on; staggering nauseously out the room. _Run, run, run little brother._

* * *

**Bang! Bang! Bang!**

The sound that I had become so accustom to echoes and the smell of gunpowder fills my nostrils settling my nausea. I pull my ear muffs and plastic safety glasses off, pressing the button on the side of the wall to reel my target paper in. A whistle sounds behind me, obviously impressed with my score.

"Damn teme, you got them all in the bulls-eye...so what's troubling you?" Naruto asked. He's dressed in clean crisp clothes and his bruises and cuts were covered neatly with bandages; seriously why couldn't Hinata patch me up instead of that crazy redhead. I roll my eyes, disassembling my gun and wiping each part carefully. "Hn," comes my response to the question he had asked.

"Don't get monosyllabic with me you asshole. I know something is troubling you; you always come to the range whenever there is."

I swear sometimes I hate how easily the stupid dobe reads me; like an open book. When I didn't answer and continued to ignore his questions with emotionless "Ah's" and "Hn's" he slapped his hands on the desk, his serious face suddenly morphing into that of a broken child. "I get it," he cried out dramatically, "You're shaken up from our last mission with fear that I nearly died..."

His stupid monologue carried on as he pretended to wipe a stray tear from his face, "...I completely understand the feeling... "

"Naruto ?" I say, but he isn't listening.

"...When your best friend is in danger and dies it leaves a hole so deep-"

"Naruto!" I roar this time.

"What is it Sasuke-kun?" he bats his eyelids jokingly in a way that makes me want to throw up on his face.

"If you die dobe, I'll be playing dance dance revolution on your grave."

He frowns, "yeah, yeah and when you die I'll hand out candies to the neighbourhood children and throw a party!"

* * *

"You work too hard teme."

I sigh and carry on with my paper work on the case we did on Povarsky. "And you're a lazy ass dobe who will always be a dobe because you will never beat me."

"Oh yeah?" he yells, blue in the face and easily riled up. He takes a deep breath in and tries to calm down, I raise an eyebrow at this because the Naruto I know would retort back to these taunts straight away. "Are you not feeling well Sasuke?"

"I'm fine…why?"

"Oh I was just wondering if I should write you a get well soon card…" he paused before yelling in my face, "So that you can recover quickly from your shitty personality!"

"Aah," is all I say knowing that it would rile him up even more. I expect him to roar back as usual, but instead he clobbers me over the head. I narrow my eyes down dangerously and stand. "Did you just hit me?"

The dobe shrugs, "I don't know. Does this count as hitting you?" he whacks me again. My nostrils flare in anger and I attack back; if this was a cartoon (An: hee hee ^^) there would be a dust cloud with limbs popping in and out of it.

"OK, Ok, break it up you two." Kakashi comes out of no where with Gai and pulls us apart. "Ah spring-full youth. Don't they remind you of us when we were their age?"

"They remind me of us right now," Kakashi says lazily opening that perverted Icha Icha book of his.

"Say what! We have more fighting spirit now than before dumbass; no one can defeat the power of our rivalry! Kakashi the youthful life in me challenges you to a rock, paper, and scissors tournament." Gai yells out whilst he pumps his fist enthusiastically in the air.

"Hai, hai," Kakashi sweat-drops as he walks away.

"Hey come back here and face me like a man!" Gai yells after him.

* * *

"Seriously teme you need a break. Have some fun in your life! Let me throw you a house party, come on don't say no. "

Sweat drops from my face as I lift the weights I was bench-pressing back up onto the holder and sit up; wiping my neck with a towel. "ok…niet."

The dobe rolls his eyes and follows me out the training room, "ok how about I throw you a small party at your apartment, come on it'll be fun! I'll call some strippers for you, it will be a boys night out." He winks suggestively. I take a gulp of water from my bottle and tell Naruto that there are three good reasons why I don't want have a party at my apartment. "Firstly, how is throwing a party at my apartment any different than throwing one for yourself at your house? Secondly, if I wanted you guys to be in my apartment I'd rather invite a bunch of farm animals, because they would leave my apartment in a much more cleaner state than you guys would, and lastly, your wife would impale both you and I on a stick and burn us alive if we bring strippers! Hn no party Naruto, now move I'm going to train some more. " I whip the dobe at the back of his head with my towel before walking away.

* * *

Naruto's POV:

I glare at the back of that chicken-butt hairstyle as the bastard walks away, rubbing the tender spot that was throbbing at the back of my head thanks to the teme. Lord knows when he will pull that stick that's lodged up his ass out. Mph the bastard needs a day off, or maybe he needs to get laid, lord knows he needs that. Yep, yep, all work and no play makes Sasuke a very dull boy indeed. A light bulb flashes in my head and I can't help but grin from ear to ear. I could throw a surprise party for the teme in his apartment, that way he can't back out of it and will be forced to participate! _Naruto you're so smart._ "Yosha*!" I give a very Lee-like yell and make my way to make preparations for the party.

* * *

It's Saturday and I manage to steal the teme's spare house key and have set everything up for the party. Lee, Shikamaru, Sai, Chouji, Neji, Gai, Kakashi and I wait patiently in the dark lounge for the teme to appear. It's 8:30pm and he still hasn't showed, gosh this man really needs a life. 9:00pm and still no teme, everybody is pretty much bored out of their minds.

**Much! Munch! Slurp! Slurp!**

I turn my head to the sound, so quickly I almost give myself whiplash. "Geh! Chouji you ass why the hell are you eating the food!" I try to swipe the beer and packet of Doritos from his hands, but he grips onto them tightly, "but I'm hungry!"I try to scold him, but by now Sai too starts drinking and Kakashi has turned the stereo on. Before I know it everyone is partying in the teme's fancy apartment without the teme! Sigh, you know what they say…if you can't beat them taser them…mmm or was it shoot them? Anyway it's not a very good saying. I too throw away my patience and unleash the party animal. Sorry Sasuke but you're missing out on the time of your life!

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Sasuke's POV:

I'll kill them all. I'll tear their arms out of their sockets and beat them with it. Seriously I have a hundred ideas on how to kill them slowly and painfully. I honestly am seeing red, as I stare at the condition of my apartment. My lounge, which is connected to an open plan kitchen and dinning room, is totally wrecked. My granite counter table tops have been broken in half, most of my cupboards were ripped from the hinges and its contents spilled across the wooden floors; which had potholes in them now. Moreover, my glass top stove completely shattered, I'm pretty sure I see some sparks shooting out of it and I'm surprised it didn't cause something to catch on fire and burn down the house. My 80 inch plasma-screen smart TV and walls had bullet holes in them and I dread to know how the rest of my apartment looks like. As I thread amongst the alcohol reeking bodies on the floor, I know who exactly to blame for all of this…Naruto!

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Well there you have it we are getting closer to the juicy stuff. Please read and review.

Yosha: a war-like cry. Used to pump ones-self up and encourage one to face a challenge.


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